How to solve Separation Anxiety with Your Kids
How to solve Separation Anxiety with Your Kids
Many children go through a phase in which they show anxiety and restlessness in the presence of unfamiliar people or situations. A baby may be unsettled by a new babysitter. A four year old may cry persistently during the first few days at kindergarten. These are perfectly normal situations and reactions.
One in every 25 children experiences some form of separation anxiety which can often be allayed by allowing the child to have a period of adjustment to his new situation. However, a child five or older who demonstrates unremitting resistance to camp, school or daycare for an extended period of time (3 weeks or more) may be suffering from separation anxiety disorder.
What is Separation Anxiety Disorder?
This is a condition in which the child becomes physically agitated over the thought of being separated from his primary caregiver or home. It is not confined to children. Adults can experience separation anxiety as well; it is known as “agoraphobia,” or fear of being separated from a safe person or home. “Agora” in Greek means marketplace and the word “agoraphobic” refers to people who are terrified of leaving home for the market.
What are the Symptoms of Separation Anxiety Disorder?
- The child complains of headaches or stomach aches. Sometimes he or she throws temper tantrums.
- The child has an irrational fear that something bad will happen if she leaves the house or caregiver.
- The child shows unusual concern about being kidnapped or taken away.
- The child fears that the caregiver might die.
- The child fears being alone, even in a separate room.
- The child has nightmares of being separated.
- The child cannot fall asleep unless caregiver is nearby.
What Can Be Done about Separation Anxiety Disorder?
If the child’s anxiety is so excessive it interferes with normal functioning at home and at school, it is wise to consult professional help. Cognitive Behavioral Therapies provide a framework in which children can learn about their fears and how to deal with them.
In essence, Cognitive Behavioral Therapies help children identify negative thoughts rather than external events, as the source of anxious feelings and behavior. They also help children develop skills for self reliance and self help. They help them practice alternative responses to anxiety so that new neural pathways can replace old circuitry in the brain. Achievement of goal is predicated on the children’s ability to unlearn old patterns and replacing them with new responses.
Why is Professional Treatment important?
Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children should be taken seriously and that parents should seek professional treatment because untreated children usually perform poorly at school, have repeated absences from school, experience problems relating with peers and siblings or become alcohol or drug dependent when they grow older.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has published a book on anger management for children. Visit her at http://www.help-your-child-with-anger.com
Unsolicited Advice Column: PARENTING SCARY TEENS? PARENTING SCARY TEENS? A reader says, “Our oldest daughter just turned 17 in October. She has a lot of typical teenage attitudes, but some of this is getting scary. She acts like the entire world owes her everything and she launches … Connecting Through Parenting Blogs The trials and joys of parenting look the same on paper as they do posted to Facebook or Twitter or shared on a blog. I shudder to think how much time my mom would spend on Facebook or blogging. It’s just the type of thing she loved to … Parenting School Years – samawa-online.com â?? information online The NEW edition of Parenting Magazine captures the joys and explores the questions and unique challenges that moms face with their school-age children. Parenting School Years fills a critical need and targets parents with kids age 6-11â?¦ … Rational Jenn: The X Factor in Parenting Parenting more than one child has really opened my eyes to something. Sometimes, when something I’ve done or said has had the desired impact on one of my kids, I think to myself “Hey, that was a good parenting moment right there. … Nintendo DS in Bath: Parenting FAIL | momlogic.com She was playing her Nintendo DS while still in the tub. I lost it.Communicating calmly - parenting 101